Thursday, March 31, 2011

Fool for Books Giveaway Hop

Wow ... I can't believe how many new friends I made during March's Lucky Leprechaun Hop. That was a ton of fun, so of course I leaped on this one. Special thanks to I Am a Reader, Not a Writer and The Bookish Snob for all the merriment!

Okay, so now you're wondering what this is all about.  I shall explain.

Every blog on this hop is giving away something fun.  You might find books, you might find gift certificates, you might find fun, book-related swag.  But each and every blog has something to offer you, and all you have to do is click on the links below, follow that blog's easy instructions, and poof!  You are entered.  Then you move right along to the next site, and you tell your friends how much fun you're having.


So, what is the prize on this blog?



That's right ... you can win a $10.00 gift card to that most magical of places, that most marvelous of all websites, the stuff of what dreams are made ... Amazon!

Are you giggling like a hyper court jester yet?

I shall increase your fun quotient.  Entering this contest is easy.  All you have to do is become a follower in my uber-awesome "People Who Think I'm Cool" box off to the left-hand side of this blog, and then leave me a comment in this trail and tell me you're following.  That's all you have to do.  And if you are already a follower, just tell me that you're already following.  Now, can it get any easier than that?  I just don't think so! Please make sure that I have a way to contact you. If your Blogger profile doesn't link to an e-mail address, please leave your e-mail address in the comment trail.

And now that you've had fun here, go check out all these other participating blogs and see what they're offering - you could spend all day just winning cool free stuff.  How great would that be?

This giveaway ends Saturday night, April 2nd, at midnight.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Guest Blog: J. Lloyd Morgan on Natural Flavor

Today I have a guest blogger, J. Lloyd Morgan. He's the author of the fantasy novel "The Hidden Sun," soon to be re-released by Walnut Springs.  I first met Jason (that's his non-book cover name) when he approached me to edit his book to get it ready for republication. He's got a great sense of humor (as you're about to find out) and he's also a thoroughly nice guy. If you'd like to check out his blog and read his other highly entertaining thoughts, here's the link.

I will now turn the time over to Jason.

Natural Flavor

Dinner time at the Morgan household can be quite the interesting experience.  Aside from talking about the day's events, we'll talk about any number of things.  One thing I love to do is "acquaint" my four daughters to the music of the 80's.  You Tube is an amazing tool for such an activity.  It's something else to see your seven-year-old daughter doing the "Safety Dance."

There are other times when the kids will ask a question like, "Why does it say 'Tomato Ketchup?'  Are there other kinds?"  So, we'll look it up.  And yes, there are other types.  One we found was "Banana Ketchup."  That then leads to the question, "Why do they call it 'yellow' mustard?  Isn't it always yellow?"  The answer?  No, it can be brown.  Heck, with a little food coloring, it can be any color you want.

But we aren't content to leave things there.  We'll start reading the ingredients of various foods.  Doing this led to a rather shocking and somewhat disturbing discovery.  

Natural flavor.  

What the heck is natural flavor?  And why is it in so many different things?

For example, I randomly sampled things in my fridge and pantry and these are things I found that contain the mysterious "natural flavor":  Apple / Cranberry Juice, spray butter, mixed berry yogurt, salsa, maple syrup, mayo, mustard (yellow), ketchup (tomato), animal crackers, hot cocoa mix, tomato soup, chocolate frosting, root beer, granola bars, pudding and macaroni & cheese.  Whoever invented this "natural flavor" must be richer than Bill Gates!  I mean, it's in everything.

But as odd as natural flavor is, there is something even stranger:  artificial flavor.  I mean, how can flavor be artificial?  After all, it has to be made from something on the earth, right?  Does that mean if I mix chocolate and peanut butter, I've created an "artificial flavor?"  One thing I know for sure, "artificial flavor" and "natural flavor" are not opposites.  Of the items listed above, several of them had both natural and artificial flavors.  (Maple syrup, hot cocoa mix, chocolate frosting, root beer, and strangely enough, granola bars)  If they were opposites, wouldn't they just cancel each other out?  Or if it's like matter and anti-matter, wouldn't having both ingredients in the same product be dangerous?

However, of all the items I "investigated", there are two that were the most disquieting:  hot dogs and bologna.  Neither had natural nor artificial flavor--but both of them did share a common ingredient:  something simply called "flavor"--and thank goodness they did!  Can you imagine how they would taste without "flavor?"
And then there was the case of the mystery drink we had one night for dinner. It claimed to be lemonade.  I'm a virtual connoisseur of lemonades (I guess that is a hobby you pick up when you don't partake of the strong drink) and this, my friends, was no lemonade.

Now my sweet wife tried to explain that there wasn't enough of the mix left to make real lemonade and it was actually just slightly flavored water.  However, it was yellow and smelled lemony--watered down or not, it was something I needed to investigate.

As to not get sued, I will not reveal the brand of the alleged lemonade.  But as I examined the container, a couple of things caught my attention right away.

#1.  It clearly states on the front that there are no "Artificial Flavors" in this mix.  

#2  Its selling point is "Lemonade Drink Mix.  Naturally Flavored with other Natural Flavor."  

Wait . . .  

What?  

"Naturally Flavored with other Natural Flavor?"  What does that even mean?

So, off to the back of the label I go.  There has to be some sort of explanation.  But no!  The ingredients were printed right where the lid joins with the jar--and when the lid was opened, the list of the ingredients was obliterated.  How you mock me, you faux lemonade!

Hello!  What's this?  Below the ingredients in bold are the allergy warnings.  Let's see here.  This "so called" lemonade may contain traces of milk, eggs, coconut, wheat, soy and . . .tilapia.  Tilapia?  Isn't that some sort of fish?

Alas, if only the lemonade had traces of lemons in it.  

Sigh.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Mormon Daddy Blogs

The other day, I received a most intriguing Facebook invitation from Dennis Agle.  I’ve been cyber-stalking friends with Dennis for the last couple of years – I’m a big fan of his work with the Liken the Scriptures series, and had the chance to meet him in person at LDSBA a year ago. (That’s the Latter-day Saint Booksellers Association convention.)

Well, this Facebook invitation led me over to Dennis’s newest venture, MormonDaddyBlogs.  I have to say, I love the idea, and wanted to share it with all of you.  Dennis kindly answered some questions for me about this blog site.

Tristi: What gave you the idea to start MormonDaddyBlogs?

Dennis: I hope I don’t lose my man card for admitting this, but I've been following you "Mormon mommy” bloggers for some time. Your blogs are authentic. They’re funny. They’re unpretentious. They’re uplifting. No wonder people of our faith as well as those outside our faith respond so well to your blogs.

I remain a big fan, but for some time, as an occasional blogger myself, I’ve been looking for a similar community of “Mormon daddy” blogs. My searches would turn up plenty of blogs on theology and politics, but far more difficult to find were the everyday blogs of Mormon dads who were just trying to do their best to keep the faith while keeping food on the table.
So I thought I’d start MormonDaddyBlogs.com, which I’m hopeful will help build a sense of community and encourage the blogging efforts of the Mormon dads all around the world.
By the way, our fairer counterparts are certainly welcome to join us in the MormonDaddyBlogs community just as you have welcomed us.

Tristi: We know that MormonMommyBlogs (of which I am one) creates bonds of sisterhood between the bloggers - have you seen bonds of brotherhood start to grow between the bloggers on your site?

Dennis: Many of the authors of the blogs we’ve featured have expressed appreciation that somebody is finally doing this. As men, we’re not exactly famous for being open with our feelings.

 
We banter. We rib. We talk sports. But we’re inclined to open up a bit more when we sit down to write. And I think there is a bond that forms when we read one another’s authentic writings and realize that there are others who feel the way we do. 


We’ve even received a few emails from our female counterparts expressing appreciation for what they've been able to read here. I like that.

Tristi: We've been encouraged to use the Internet to spread good messages and to uplift others, even to share the gospel. What are your thoughts on the Internet as a tool to bring light into people's lives?

Dennis: As members, I think we’ve always felt an extra responsibility to be good neighbors, because people may base everything they know about Mormons based on what they see us do as individuals. I think we’re seeing this responsibility extend to the internet, which has the amazing ability to make the entire world feel no bigger than a neighborhood. 


In a medium long noted for anonymity and mean-spiritedness, I think people are inspired by efforts of our blogging community to be authentic, yet uplift one another. To me, this applies just as much to those who are within our faith as it does to those who are not of our faith. 

Tristi: How many men are currently registered with MDB, and how long has the site been up and running?

Dennis: MormonDaddyBlogs is still in its infancy. We’ve only been live since March 15. We’re still turning on the switches around here. In addition to the blog itself, we have our Facebook group (MormonDaddyBlogs) that has some two dozen members, and we’re on Twitter (@MormonDads), where we have about the same number of followers. 
As you can see, we have a long way to go.

Tristi:  How would a blogger go about joining your website?

Dennis: At this stage, our approach is to feature a post each day from Mormon dads on our blog. Usually, we'll then add the blogs we feature to our blogroll. We invite people to suggest sites that seem like they might be a good fit by emailing the URL to mormondaddyblogs@gmail.com.
Down the road, our plan is to build a more comprehensive list of links to blogs by Mormon dads. But at the moment, we probably only have about two dozen active sites (posts within the last couple of months) that we know of. We know there must be more out there. And we hope more Mormon dads will take the plunge.

I’m so excited about this, Dennis, and I wish you the best of luck.

So, head on over to MormonDaddyBlogs and see what they have to say—I’m loving the time I’ve spent over there, learning new things and gaining new perspectives. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

The New Season of American Idol

Yes, it's that time of year again, when millions of people gather around to watch American Idol.  Some watch it because they love it, others watch it so they can sit and mock everything, and some watch it like they would a car accident - they just can't tear their eyes away.  Talent and tantrums - this show has it all.

When Paula left, I wasn't sure how the show was going to work, but it hung in there pretty well.  I did not, however, think it was going to survive after Simon Cowell left.  You might love him, you might hate him, but we can all agree on the fact that he has been an institution of the show and to have American Idol without him ... well, I had my doubts.

I watched the first episode with some trepidation.  How was I going to like the new judges?  Would Idol make it through this first rough season with a new cast?

I was pleasantly surprised.  I'm really enjoying this season and I think the judges are doing a great job.

Over on Facebook, though, I saw some people complaining about how the judges aren't offering any solid advice.  I'm confused at this statement - I think the judges are doing an awesome job.  Let's compare the old judges with the new for a moment, shall we?

Old Judges:

Randy Jackson - Yo, man, whassup?  Whatcha doin' tonight?  You know, dog, I just wasn't feeling it tonight. It just wasn't there for me, you know?  I mean, I gotta give you props for comin' out here, but for me, well, it just wasn't there.  Dude, you know what I'm sayin'.

Paula Abdul - You know what, you look really nice tonight.

Simon Cowell -  That was the slimiest piece of sludge that has ever been scraped off the bottom of someone's shoe.

New Judges:

Steven Tyler - Well, bring out the barnyard animals and let's have a hoe-down - that was terrific.

Jennifer Lopez - You did an amazing job of opening up your vocal chords and just letting the sound wash out.  I would work on those low notes, though.

Randy Jackson - Dog, you know what, you can really do it, man.  And I've been here for ten seasons, man, so dog, you know, you and me are tight, man.

So I don't know what the Facebook people are complaining about.  I'm hearing really good advice from the new judges, references to barnyard animals notwithstanding.  I'm very happy to say that I think my earlier prediction of the death of American Idol will not come to pass.

*All celebrity quotes were generated in the sleep-deprived imagination of the blog author and are not meant to be misconstrued as actual quotes by the celebrity in question, although you have to admit, they're pretty darned close.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Book Review: Journey of Honor by Jaclyn M. Hawkes

Disowned, she came to America anyway. Attacked and left pregnant by a vicious mob, she still pressed on. Finally in spite of being accused of theft by the vilest of her attackers, Giselle tries to remain as upbeat and uncomplaining as a prairie wildflower as she travels on to Zion.

Thoroughly disillusioned with the ugliness and cruelty of slavery in the South. Trace Grayson leaves his young medical career to go west, hoping to leave bigotry and hatred behind. He begins taking goods by teamster train to sell in the territories. However, this fourth time across in July 1848, he's stuck in St. Joseph, Missouri, waiting for enough wagons to join the train so that they can leave.

Knowing that if they don't start west soon, they ll be caught by snow in the mountains. Trace is thrilled when the final wagon signs on. Then, when the beautiful young Dutch girl traveling with the last wagon is falsely accused of stealing and is detained, the whole trip is jeopardized. Thrown together by circumstances, Trace and Giselle team up to begin to figure out just how to make this epic journey across a continent a success.

With a deep sense of honor and an equally strong sense of humor, together they learn to deal with everything except the one trial that neither of them can overcome.

This is a journey through the refiner's fire.

My Review:

Journey of Honor takes some of the most popular elements of fiction and weaves them together in one - history, romance, adventure.  We learn to respect Trace for his dedication to doing what was right, Mose for being a stable influence, and Giselle for bearing her burdens cheerfully.  We get a taste of daily life on the trail and what it must have been like for the pioneers as they made their way across the plains, facing things we've never contemplated.

I did have a few small issues with the book - I would have liked to see more showing, rather than telling.  I also felt that the editing was a little loose - the story deserved to be gone over and made to shine.  I didn't find it believable that Trace, who was a doctor, didn't know Giselle was pregnant.  Each of these things pulled me out of the story, but I delved back in to see what was going to happen next.

Regardless of the issues I had with the book, I did find it an enjoyable read and think that it will appeal to anyone who wants a good romance.

Disclaimer:  I received a copy of this novel for review purposes, but this did not influence my review.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Wings of Light Giveaway

Amazing author Laura Bingham is celebrating the release of her new book Wings of Light, and she wants to spread the word! 


 I'm helping her out today by pointing you to her site and her blog. You will enjoy both, I promise you.


Now, because this is a celebration, and because it's a giveaway, why, we must give away!  And what, pray tell, can you win on this blog?  It probably won't come as a huge shock, but ...



I am giving away a copy of my newest release, Dearly Departed.  If you would like to win this book, you must do the following:


1.  Become a follower of my blog in that cute little follower box on the left-hand sidebar.  If you're already a follower, you can just tell me so.


2.  Hie yourself on over to Laura's blog and become a follower of hers, too. Her follower box is on the right-hand side of her blog.


3.  Come back here and tell me you've done both things.


4.  Be sure you've entered before Tuesday night at midnight, MST.  That's when the prize drawing will take place.


Now, lemme just tell ya about a few more things - you'll want to keep your eye on Laura's blog because she's giving away a whole lot more stuff than just this.  In fact, there are rumors of an iPod shuffle.  So head on over there, read all about it, and be sure to leave me a comment here, too.  I mean, my book's not as cool as a shuffle, but it's pretty darned cool for a book ...


Oh, and before I go, let me show you this amazing cover:



This giveaway is now closed, but please, be sure to check out Laura's new book!!

The Blessings of the Temple

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Lucky Leprechaun Giveaway Hop


Welcome to the Lucky Leprechaun Giveaway Hop, where you can meet new bloggers, win fun prizes, and essentially party-hearty on this day of the Irish ... and you don't even have to be wearing green!

How does this festival of fun work?

First, I show you the awesome prize you can win on my blog:


This is my new novel, Dearly Departed, which was released just this last January.

What do you have to do in order to win it?  Oh, it's so simple ... so easy ... just become a follower of my blog in my "People Who Think I'm Cool" comment box to your left (scroll down just a little) and then leave a comment on this post to tell me that you're now following.  Or, if you're already a follower, leave me a comment and tell me that.  Either way, I need the comment.  And that's it!  You are entered.  I will draw the winner's name at midnight on Sunday night (March 19th) and I will contact the lucky winner.

Isn't that awesome and fantabulous?  Could it get any better?

Well, actually, it could!  Because this is a giveaway hop, you have the chance to win all kinds of other prizes by visiting all kinds of other blogs.  Take a little Irish jig through the Linky list below, make some new friends, and enter their contests.  I haven't been kissin' the Blarney Stone - you could win multiple times!

Have a very blessed St. Paddy's Day, and let's see those entries come rollin' in like the green hills of Ireland!

Monday, March 14, 2011

30-Day Organizing Challenge Update

You'll all recall this post about my desire to get more organized and to make more room for good things in my life, right?  Well, go read it ... I'll wait ...

Are you back?  Okay, 'cause it's time for an update.

The first few days of Chalene Johnson's challenge were spent talking about the importance of goal setting, etc.  I was a little disappointed at that - I already know how to goal set, and I was ready to get into some real meat right off the bat.  But then I realized that for many people, having a slow introduction was best, so I did the small daily assignments and just waited for the really good stuff.

That started for me when we were assigned to make our to-do list.  Chalene, the teacher, said to write down every single thing that needed to be done and that was preying on our minds, and then to go through and mark them for "must do today or there will be disastrous consequences" or "must do this week" or "must do soon." Then you take the really heavy-duty stuff, put it on that day's list, and then throw on a few things that will help get you to your major goals.  When you've done everything on your list, you're done for the day and you can play.  Anything that comes to mind that you need to do goes on your to-do list to add on to the next day - or that day, if it's majorly important.

I have to say, that first day, I really felt the power of organization.  I got so much done that day, I can't even tell you.  Little things I'd been meaning to do suddenly found themselves done.  I finished an edit, I got some housework done, my kids actually got my full attention ... it was great.  I went to bed that night feeling empowered.

I'm sorry to say that the next morning, I wasn't feeling ultra healthy, and I lost a little of my groove.  But I worked the system all week, and I really think I got a lot more done than I ever would have on my own.  You write down everything that comes to mind, and then you organize it and get it done in a time frame that makes the most sense.

I just got done making my to-do list for tomorrow.  I will feel very accomplished when I cross everything off it - I'm really looking forward to having that feeling of success again.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Bucket List Blog Festival

Today I’m participating in a bucket list blog hop sponsored by Swim - Write - Run.  We've each been asked to post our list of things we’d like to do before we kick the bucket.  This was a fun list to construct - it got me thinking. 

1.        I got to go to Russia when I was 15, and I’d love the chance to go back there.

2.       I’d love to travel all over Europe and see the castles of England, Germany, and Switzerland.

3.       I want to take singing lessons.

4.       I want to hit #1 on the bestseller’s list for my regional market with my novels and stay there consistently.

5.       Don’t laugh – I want to learn how to milk a cow.  Don’t laugh again – I also want to learn how to ride a horse.

You know, I’ve come to a realization while making this list.  I’m already pretty content with my life.  I’ve had opportunities to do some amazing things, I have a fantastic husband and awesome kids, and I have my dream career – okay, it’s still fledgling, but it’s growing all the time.  Right now I have the seeds for the things I most really, really want in life.  The other dreams I have are all a lot of fun, but the most important ones are in some way already in progress, and I feel so blessed because of that.  I think I need to remember that whenever I start to feel grumpy about the things I don’t have or the ways I wish things were different.

What about you?  What are some things on your bucket list, and what are some dreams you have that have already come true?

If you'd like to visit the others who are participating in this blog festival, click this link to see the full list.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Author Interview: Joyce DiPastena


Today I'm joined by Joyce DiPastena, author of medieval novels Loyalty's Web and Illuminations of the Heart.  Joyce, thank you for taking time to hang out with me today!

Your novels are very detailed and incredibly researched. When did you first become interested in the history of the Middle Ages? 







I dabbled with writing in a lot of different historical time periods during high school, but the Middle Ages was always one of my favorite historical periods. (Along with the Stuarts and the 19th Century.) One history book series I read during my high school years was a series focusing on the Plantagenet kings of England by Thomas B. Costain. Something about the way he wrote and the real life characters that he wrote about immediately captured my imagination. When I went to college, I decided to major in history. The first thing I did was take all the classes I could find on the Stuarts, Tudors, and the Middle Ages. I’m not entirely sure whether it was the subject matter or the marvelous teacher I had for the medieval classes, but I found my interest increasingly focusing on the Middle Ages. I had a long string of unfinished manuscripts behind me, but I started yet another story while I was taking these medieval classes and set it during the reign of King John. That was the first manuscript I ever wrote all the way through from beginning to end. I’ve been happily writing about the Middle Ages ever since.


Did you always want to be a writer?


It never really entered my mind that I might become a writer. I was so totally in awe of writers growing up that I knew I could never aspire to such greatness! So I was very, very shy and even embarrassed when I started putting pencil to paper and making up stories late in my junior high school years. My family still tease me about the way I would cover up whatever I was writing when they would walk anywhere near where I was. I just told myself I was “dabbling”, not really writing. The day I realized I had written a complete novel, I was totally stunned. And to this day, I still shy away from using the word “novel” regarding my writing. I still feel too uppity to put that label on my writing. I prefer to just call them “my stories.”


How do you do your research for your novels?


I mostly research as I go along. Fortunately for me, I’ve collected a fairly extensive research library through the years. I need to describe how my heroine is dressed? Time to grab 900 Years of English Costume, by Nancy Bradfield and English Costume from the Early Middle Ages Through the Sixteenth Century, by Iris Brooke. I need to set a scene in the castle chapel…but where is the chapel located and what did it look like? Out comes The Castle Explorer’s Guide, by Frank Bottomley. My hero is off to visit one of the villeins (serfs) on the manor. What does a peasant’s cottage look like inside? I dive into Life on the English Manor, by H.S. Bennett. I pretty much research according to my needs and the twists and turns of the story.


Is there anything you have to have in order to write - a favorite snack, music, or other ritual that helps keep you focused?


Total, utter, complete silence. That’s pretty much it. (And maybe a Hershey Kiss or two to perk me up if I start getting sleepy.)


What would you say is your most unusual hobby?


Hobbies? I’m not sure I have any. Let’s see, Eat, sleep, write, read, play the piano, Facebook, wait on my cats… Yep, that’s pretty much it.


What is your favorite television show?




You mean that’s still on the air? Let’s see, they cancelled Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Law & Order, Monk… Depending on the season of the year, I’d have to say Psych, Merlin, or Eureka.

Thanks for sharing your time and talents with us today, Joyce! I can't wait to see what you publish next.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

What I Did This Week

I used to manage a floral shop, but quit when I got married.  I loved my job.  It was absolutely the best.  But life does take us down different paths, and it was time for me to do something else.  I do still, though, make flowers for the occasional wedding.  You can see the pictures from my niece's wedding here, and I'm now going to show you the pretties I made on Friday.

Andrea Pearson (now Andrea Skinner) has been a good friend of mine for the last year, and when she started planning her wedding, I browbeat her into letting me volunteered to do her flowers.  Here's what we did:


Here is her beautiful bouquet of roses, daisies, ivy, babies' breath, and tree fern. 
You can also see the groom's flowers in the background.


Closeup of bouquet - with smooching lovebirds in background.


Here are the parents' flowers.  Oh, and the parents, too ...


Here is a group shot of the flowers together,
with their matching people.


Here is a close-up of the cake.  Man, a good photographer makes
all the difference in the world.


Here's a full shot of the cake.  Disclaimer: I did not make
the cake.  I just put the flowers on it.


Yep, it was a lot of fun.  But I'm glad I don't do weddings often - there's a lot of stress.  What if it doesn't turn out right?  What if ... oh, I don't know ... the bride is walking out of the temple and all the roses start to fall out of the bouquet?

Don't believe such a thing could happen? Well ...


This would be the picture taken right after two of the trailing roses fell out onto the pavement outside the temple.  Yeah.  I was standing right there and was able to make some repairs, and then later in the evening, made some more repairs ... there was a foam vs. rose stem thing happening, over which I had no control, but we all survived, and I do believe Andrea and Nolan will live happily ever after anyway.

My thanks to Glenn Pearson for letting me use his amazing pictures - seriously, if you need a photographer in the Utah Valley area, you should look Glenn up.  


Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time

Friday, March 04, 2011

Just Breathe ...

Anna Nalick sings a song called "Breathe" which is often heard on the radio.  You can read the full lyrics here and listen to the song itself here, but this is the part that really sticks out to me when I hear it:

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to

Have you ever written something so intense that it consumed you, that if you didn't get the words out, they would eat you up from the inside, threatening your life?

Part of being a writer is learning how to take the emotions you feel and turn them into words, to let them cascade down into your fingertips and come out.  Sometimes it's impossible to stop the waterfall once it starts and you write for hours, spilling words endlessly, and other times, it's too hard to turn the tap and you just can't face it.  But there will come a time when you have something so powerful to say that it eats you alive until you've said it, either verbally or with your pen, and once you do, you'll know that you have done what you came here to do. Even if you don't write serious pieces, even if you prefer to write lighter stories, you will still experience this need to share. It will touch someone's heart.  It might give someone else the courage to speak up.  It was what the world around you needed to hear at that moment.

Don't be afraid of it. Just write, and you will discover a whole new strength in being brave enough to take that plunge.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Author Interview: Dave Johnston

Today I'm joined by Dave Johnston, a business owner, seminary teacher, and author who uses his blog, Dear Bro Jo, to answer questions from teenagers all over the world about relationships and living the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Dave, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to chat with me today.  


You have a great way of reaching out and connecting with teens.  Is that something that came naturally to you, or was it developed over a period of practice and experience?

Sister Jo says that it comes naturally, but I've had a lot of practice, too!  The key, I think, is realizing that no one likes to be talked down to, regardless of their age.  Younger people are younger, but they're still people.

How did you come to settle in on the topic of dating and relationship advice?  What drew you to fill this particular need?


I've worked with LDS Youth and Young Single Adults in several different callings and capacities.  After one Family Home Evening Group (where our family played host to members of the local institute ward) Sister Jo pointed out to me that after each of these evenings, I often spent hours talking to the Young Single Adults, answering questions and giving encouragement, especially (as she put it) in "matters of l'amour!"

As I reflected on what she said, I was reminded of something one of my former seminary students had said about how adults in the Church had become so paranoid about youth becoming un-temple worthy that we leaders had swung the pendulum too far the other direction; rather than answer their questions and teach them how to date and romance each other in a way that is pleasing to God, we freaked them out to the point where they were either too afraid to date or went out and made huge mistakes.

He was speaking in very general terms, of course, (he's now married and has children, by the way), but his point was very valid.

I thought that I could perhaps become that favorite uncle, the one that jokes around with you but doesn't belittle you; that loves you enough to tell it to you straight.  So here I am.

You receive letters from youth everywhere, and you answer them on your blog.  In one of your responses, you said that nothing scares you more than the idea of a young girl who doesn't know her worth.  Why do you feel that way?

Everywhere is right!  (It's a little intimidating.)

Satan has certain very effective tools that he uses to entice us to to bad things and make us feel as though repentance is out of reach once we have.  One of the most powerful is the way he works on our self-esteem, and that can be particularly damaging for a young woman.  For years the world has taught women that their value comes from (or is at least confirmed by) the men in their lives, and that having a boyfriend (or fiancĂ©e or husband) is proof that a girl is beautiful and valuable.  Dangerous men (and boys) take advantage of that, using it to get women (and girls) to do things, wear things, and go places they shouldn't.

But if women can realize that:  A) no man will love a woman he doesn't respect, and that you can't respect someone who has no self-respect, B) men do not equate love and sex, and C) her value comes from God, not men, and that simply being His daughter gives her Divine Nature and Individual Worth . . . well, that cures an awful lot.

How much time in an average week do you spend reading and answering your letters from youth?

I'm blessed to receive lots of emails.  Each is very important to me, and I try to answer them as quickly as I can, but it does take quite a bit of time.  Sometimes that's a quantity issue, sometimes I just need time to sincerely ponder what the person is asking.  I appreciate every letter.  What many people may not know is that, while I answer all of the emails I get, many of them are never published.  Some times that's because of timing or topic (for example:  one week I had 20 letters from young people all about the same age asking pretty much the same question), and sometimes that's because of the personal or graphic nature of what the writer is dealing with.  Not counting time for prayer and conversations with Sister Jo when I need help, just counting the reading  and writing, it averages several hours a day.
What do you consider to be the three biggest problems facing our youth today, and what do you suggest we as parents can do to help prepare our children to face them or to avoid them?

The three biggest problems, as I see it, are:  1)  not knowing what it feels like to feel the Spirit, 2)  feeling alone, and 3)  the proliferation of pornography. 

What parents can do is:
  • Share their testimonies.  Not in a formal or stuffy way, or in a corny "Happy Valley" everything is dancing trees and singing flowers nothing every bothers us kind of way, but find those sincere moments when you can talk to your child, one-on-one, and simply say "hey, you know, if there's one thing I want most in life it's to spend eternity with you in the Celestial Kingdom; that's going to be pretty cool".  And when Spiritual moments happen, point them out.
  • Seek out the lonely; your kids, other people's kids, or anyone really, and teach them that because of the Savior's love and Sacrifice, and because of the gift of the Spirit, none of is ever really alone.
  • Put the computer in a public place, limit it's use to when you're home, speak up about the topic to your children (not in a lecture, but let them know CASUALLY how you feel), and SET THE EXAMPLE - no porn includes adults, and it also includes R-rated movies, lots of PG-13 movies, 50% of what's on television (everything on MTV), and music.  Don't freak out, don't teach your kids that liking sexy stuff is bad (it's just that it's appropriate in marriage - not that married people can watch porn, but that it's wonderful to be intimate with someone you're sealed to for time and all eternity), but walk the walk and talk the talk.  If your kids shouldn't watch it, and you wouldn't watch it with your grandmother, you shouldn't be watching it at all.
  • Do the stuff you're supposed to do, the whole family:  read scriptures together, pray together, go to your church meetings together, and spend time together.
  • Don't make excuses or exceptions for your family.  Keeping the Sabath Day holy doesn't mean "except when the game is on" or "unless we're all really tired".  Kids have radar for insincerity, and they never forget.
  • Never confess your sins to your children and never forget that you're the parent, not the peer.
  • If you struggle with or forget any of the above, go back and read the Proclaimation on the Family.
You don't have to be perfect, and you should keep certain things to yourself.  It's okay to appologize, acceptable to say "no", and required that they always know that your love for them is like Heavenly Father's for all of his children:  eternal and unconditional.


I feel very blessed in getting this advice - I have a teenage daughter, a son who was just ordained a deacon, and two more moving along in the ranks behind them, and I'm eager and anxious to do whatever I can to send them into the world armed and ready to fight the battles they will face.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us today, Bro Jo.


You can visit Bro Jo's blog, Dear Bro Jo, for yourself and see what he's saying to youth all over the world.  You can also purchase his books "Bro Jo's Guide to Casual Group Dating," "Bro Jo's Guide to Relationships," and "The Discovering Greatness Playbook." 

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

It's My Birthday!

That's right ... it's the wonderful, fantastical month of March. That means I'm celebrating my birthday, and this year, I'm giving you a present. 


Every comment left on a blog post* from this minute until midnight, March 31st, will be entered in a drawing.  And what is that drawing for?


A free ten-page manuscript edit and critique from me to you.


So I hope you'll visit me often this month, comment*, tell all your friends, get them over here to share the birthday love, and celebrate with me all March long!


*Clarification:  If you leave a comment on a blog that was posted back in November or some other previous month, that doesn't count.  It needs to be a comment on a blog that was posted within the month of March 2011. 
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